Perceived Persona

A good friend of mine…that I haven’t known for long…made an observation about me (us). Because we have similar traits and values, he was summarizing what his perception was about our motivations and seeking out a partner. Yes, we both want a partnership, an intimacy, that spurs us to slow down. We both keep ourselves busy with passions and inspiration. However, he made a generalized comment that we both seek out a partner because we don’t feel like we’re enough on our own.

And I paused – but agreed in the moment.

I don’t think that I do agree, though. I find that when I’m on my own – so far – that I am the happiest and most fulfilled version of myself because I have the time for reflection and to find sparks of inspiration that create the whirlwind of projects. Do I need to target my approach better? Sure. But I do not believe that it’s all a distraction because I don’t feel like I’m enough.

I do feel that I haven’t found my partner yet. The person who allows me to have the space to roam, yet we come together to both inspire and support each other. I find that my inspirations move me towards being a better and more balanced human being, that I’m creating a business and network that will help people in a greater capacity than previously, and that I’m creating a more sustainable future for myself – partner or not.

I am also learning what I need in a partner. Only recently have I shifted (am shifting) from an amenable perspective, to a more assertive stance. I didn’t know what kind of partner I wanted or needed. And – not surprisingly – this lack of understanding of myself has led to less than ideal romantic interests. But that’s not the topic of this post…

I am enough. I love my work, I love my approach to life, I would like to learn how to say ‘yes’ to myself more, and to be able to physically display my confidence in myself. I’ve previously shrunken and dismissed accomplishments which has led to a persona that has led me not to see myself for who I am, but also has led others to think that I don’t think that I’m enough. How easy is that for someone to prey on? To attempt to manipulate? To make false promises to?

So, no. I do believe that I am enough. I make myself happy. I’d love to find a partner that we can work towards growing each other’s happiness. But, either way, I will provide for myself and cultivate a life that I am proud to call my own.

Boom. (mic drop)


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