When You Are Not You

I watched as you withered
Your eyes clouded
And you lost faith in yourself

As your daughter
I lost faith
And detached myself from you
Wishing once more for the person I knew you were

We were happy and inseparable
And somehow you were convinced by another that you weren’t strong
Or didn’t know what was good for us

I watched as you clung onto words for control
Words that only hurt
And somehow made you feel more connected
Because you knew the words that stung
And made you giggle

I wish I could take those years away
That made you doubt yourself so
You had escaped before
And somehow fell back into your own cage
Fear of loss and loneliness and unacceptance just around the bend

Now I just watch and accept the words that come
And know that it is your way of coping
Somehow relieved that they are aimed at more than just me
Yet subtly hinting at the hurt that may be brewing in others as they did in me

And there it is
The withering

It’s tragic that what was strong was withered by another,
and now holding a mirror up simply furthers the decay

So now I choose to just witness you
Knowing the goodness in your heart
And that you’ve been conditioned to hurt to heal.

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