I watched as they strolled in the chill air
Struggling to connect
And I wanted to do the same
An uncomfortable Yet welcoming air filling the void
So I did
The air was even chillier than I expected, quickening my pace, so I focused on my warm cup of coffee. I don’t often have coffee first thing in the morning, but it seemed appropriate to have for a morning walk. An indulgence.
I felt my body warming up – muscles that don’t usually work that early getting a welcome dose of movement and challenge. Others in their cars heading off to work, while I obviously was not. Strolling in my pajama-esque clothing. I received a nod from a stranger from across the street…he obviously appreciated my effort at avoiding the norm. I discovered my new favorite street where busy streets are at a distance, lovely homes line the route, and gardening is appreciated. I will come back here again.
Once back home, I held on to the feeling a while longer while I continued working at the computer. Consulted with a professional who advised that I needed to overhaul my current presentation. And even though I now feel a heavy does of inadequacy, I’m okay with it. I know that these things take time, that I can’t simply throw it all away since I would be left with nothing, but that over time I can gain the tools to reach where I would like to go.
Everyone else tells me how they would like to see my path, and it’s up to me to take those bits of information that I identify with, and to put them together like pieces of a puzzle to make the whole me. There is no recipe, no perfect route, no one direction that I or anyone else needs to take. It is mine to walk, to detour, to discover, to graze the leaves of the trees above my head. The others are simply opinions, tidbits that I can take or not. And if not now, maybe later.